I should probably clarify that by changing 'plan' to 'hopeless wish'...there we go, that's better...dammnit!

I have been trying to study for this exam for an eternity...okay maybe just two days, but perception has to count for something. Anyways, man i am just not in the zone at all. It's killing me, i'm usually not this bad.

I want to kill all my thoughts (just until tomorrow). They won't leave me alone. They're just swirling around my head, taunting me:

And, alas my will power has grown weary....arghh!! I only have a couple of more hours to salvage before i must prepare to meet my demise. I will accept humbly. It's the only way. But not without a fight. Okay, i'm being slightly dramatic, but my brain is in pain.

Onto other things.

There is this guy, who happens to be in my geology class, who i remember noticing like the first day (amongst 400 other students). But he stood out because he just looked really interesting and like one of those people where you think to yourself 'i would like to know that person.' It also didn't hurt that he had awesome dreads. Not as awesome as mine, but awesome nontheless (aren't i modest).

So anyways, we kept like seeing eachother everywhere on campus and it was one of those - i notice you, you notice me, but let's not acknowlede that fact - deals. But the other day our paths crossed in such a way that was conduscive to talk...so we just struck up a random conversation, where it kind of felt like we already knew eachother b/c we kept noticing one another for the past two months. So this was exciting. And then today i decided to go to the optional review session for my exam (which on a sidenote only served to completely confuse me). And as usual he noticed me and i noticed him except this time we knew eachother so he came and sat beside me. (insert boring review session HERE).

After that we went out to eat and then he had to go to class. Okay that's all. It just makes me happy when i meet people that i want to meet. Not a very exciting story, i know, but you'll write anything when your trying to avoid studying.

Why doesn't anyone ever email me? I like them , but i don't get them. And no, spam and forwards do not count!

Oh yeah, I recently made an appointment with a psychiatrist, and then after i booked the appointment i decided i didn't want to go because when i was talking to the doctor and describing basically how fucked up i was feeling she brought up my family's prominent history of manic depression and was expressing great concern, which really got me worried. So at first i was like 'okay good so i know why i maybe be so fucked up,' but after a few days i changed my mind because there really is no cure for manic depression just a prescription for drugs that never expires...and i didn't want that. But then i decided today that i wanna find out for sure that way i know there's a chance of experiencing some form of normalcy. But i thought the appt. was for thursday and when i checked, it was actually for today so i missed because by the time i checked it was too late. So i guess it was meant to be.