Who knew an oven could heat an apartment so splendidly?? Why didn't i think of it before?

I've forgotten how bitter-sweet it is to be finally left alone. Although it's been almost a week since i got back this is the first time i've been left alone. I was really excited but now i'm left wanting and restless.

Talked to T. online yesterday. he kept testing me to see if it was really me. Said i was saying things that sounded like Jenn but i didn't sound like me. He said i've changed.

"Okay, where's jenn?"

We are better off apart and i'm not sure how that's fair. Even after several somewhat successful attempts at adapting without him there is still a lingering sadness. There is no other that understands me the way he does. My jokes, my weirdness, my moods. Mostly i'm okay except for when i just want someone to understand me, to make me laugh, to get on my nerves...and he's gone. I don't want us to be apart. It has to be. No more wallowing in familiarity.

why does growing have to be so hard sometimes??

School is so intense and i just want to throw it all in a closet and set off a bomb. kaboom...no more. But alas it is almost done. I am queen complainer of the nile. Miserable wretch i am.

let's see, something good...well i'm not dead and people like me mostly...i hope.